5 months ago
It’s the way I tell ‘em . #joke
Bhí dhá fear IRA ag siúl síos bóthar i mBeal Feirste agus chonaic siad fear ina seasamh in aice an balla. Dúirt fear amhain ar an fear eile … “An ceapann tú go bhfuil an fear sin in san UVF ?” Arsa an fear eile … “Ní ceapaim”. [Via Reddit]
1 year ago
My browser just warned me not to visit thetwitter.com !
1 year ago
Irish Government approved 10 Year Bond Chart
Brian Cowen is right. There is nothing to fear from these 10 year bond charts. Nothing at all.
1 year ago
Stories from The Sun that you won’t have read today because you don’t like breasts
The annual “Christmas shop open already” story is on Page 4. BT are opening their Christmas shop tomorrow. The Sun says that the ”SWISH department store Brown Thomas was SLEIGH-ted” for the move.
Consumer’s Association chief Dermot Jewell was FUMING. He cited the recession as a reason why the shop for those with more money than sense shouldn’t be putting shoppers under pressure. “it’s unfair to show off snazzy games to kids when so many folks are feeling the pinch.”
He’s right though - it is too early but it’s been like this for years. C’est la vie. Doesn’t stop The Sun calling for Boycott though.
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“What a tool. Mechanic De Tseng, 43, was let off with a warning over stripping naked and swinging a spanner at locals after getting fired in Kuming, China.”
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The Sea Life Centre in Bray is getting an ocean “SEX-pert” to answer everything kids need to know about the “birds and the SEAS”
Cathy Maguire will go on duty from Monday, September 6.
Underneath a photo montage of various crabs is a question: Why do they all look cranky? Answer: It’s just a bad case of crabs.
Cathy reveals the answers to some marine life “nookie” questions.
Why would a crab sit on another crab? When a boy crab likes a girl crab, he carries her underneath him to cuddle her.
Altogether now . AWWWWWWWWWW!
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Jedward Grandad RIP.
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Demi Moore Twitpic on Page 7. 47 and Tweeting herself in Bikini. Grow up woman ffs.
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County Cork OAP is still in darkness after he paid the ESB €5k in 2008 to get connected to the grid. He cuts a lonely figure sitting outside his remote farmhouse. The 68 year old said “It would be nice to be able to watch a bit of television in my retirement.”
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Totally Xpose have some amazing tips for those attending Electric Picnic.
1. Get fluffy socks in Penneys
2. Buy wellies
3. Plait your hair
4. Bring comfy jeans
5. Buy some white, black and nude vest tops. €3 in Penneys. (they’re on the payroll there it would seem)
6. Drink loads of water
7. Bring smelling salts
8. Bring rain mac, baby wipes, face wipes, sunglasses, trilby hat, warm hoodie
9. Don’t wear short skirts and fake tan or high heels
10. Get fake eyelashes
11. Check out what a list of unkown (to me) celebrities wear to festivals and copy them
12. Get some sleep
13. Brush your teeth before bed
14. Chill out
15. Pray for good weather
16. Penneys Penneys Penneys Penneys - go there now and but shit.
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A book just fell on my head. I’ve only got myshelf to blame.
I was eating my tea last night when I suddenly thought to myself, “This milk must be seriously out of date.”
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Lorraine Keane doesn’t know why TV3 boss Ben Frow was so mean to her. “He has been with the station less than two years. I was with TV3 for 11 years.” It’s like something you’d hear in the school playground.
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“House about it? A €1 bungalow”. A man in Galway is willing to consider any offer over €1 for a house in Galway. He’s been two years trying to sell the bungalow and just wants shut of it. He’s never heard of social media. It’d be gone by noon if he put it on Facebook.
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Lost count of how many breast photographs in the paper. A lot though.
1 year ago
Stories you won’t have read today because you’re too highbrow to buy The Star…
A brain damaged wheelchair-bound man who emptied the contents of his medical catheter onto a bank floor said sorry yesterday. The judge gave him a conditional discharge saying “sometimes these things happen.”
The man was charged with causing £85 worth of damage to an Ulster Bank branch carpet and apologised for “acting out of character”. The bank were in court seeking £85 restitution. The judge told the defendant ”I am sure they are in dire need of it and you have 20 weeks to pay” before wishing him good luck.
No mention of what drove him to empty the contents of the catheter onto the floor.
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Eddie Hobbs writes about Anglo.
“Looking into Anglo Irish is like trying to fathom a lousy case of national dry rot…. And worst of all - having bought the poxy thing - we don’t know if we can afford it.”
Eh, I’m not an Economist BUT I’m pretty sure we can’t afford it Eddie.
He also recommends cutting “the living daylights out of social welfare payments, education and health budgets.” Very 007.
On the opposite page of Eddie’s wise words we get some nice graphics of what we could get for the €25bn Anglo cash infusion a la The Sunday Business Post top 100 things.
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Julia Robers has hairy armpits!! Photographic evidence on Page 14.
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Right night door to Julia’s beach pictures is an “Opportunity second to nun”. The Poor Clares are holding a monastic experience weekend at their Co. Carlow monastery next month to attract candidates to a six year apprenticeship. No mention of pay rates. #
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Some gobshite suffered flash burns to his head, legs and torso when he blew himself up trying to kill a spider. He sprayed the spider with an aerosol and then flicked a cigarette lighter to see if he’d killed it. The blast blew the man off his feet and lifted the attic door of its hinges.
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Irish people have bet €5,000 on when the next volcano will blow. Paddy Power have a book open on a dozen peaks. 12/1 for Mt. Vesuvius, 28/1 for Mt. Etna, 50/1 for Yellowstone. Favourite is Galeras in Colombia at 5/4. Payout will only occur if the volcano spews out 10 million cubic metres of lava.
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Jonathan Ross is “still a ward of the Beeb” - whatever that means.
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Sing when they’re winning…
Singer Johnny B wants Tipp fans to belt these lyrics out at Croker…
“Cahir to Nenagh, they’ll agree, it’s time we took back Liam McCarthy.
For the blue, the gold and the dream, this is for the boys on Hill 16.”
etc etc.
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Heidi Montag is looking lovely in pink on page 23 - “No Heid-ing that honker” - reference to a “strange bandage on her schnoz”. It looks like an regular plaster to me..
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3 years after the birth of her twin boys, Georgina Ahern speaks about her heartbreak at having to leaving the twins in an incubator overnight.
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6 lovely TG4 Babes are pictured on Page 25 at the launch of the station’s Autumn schedule in the new Landsdowne Road stadium. W
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Hypnotist Paul McKenna is set to buy the house Michael Jackson died in for €23m. Self help - that’s the business to be in obviously.
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A glossy magazine for women will only have “real women” throughout from now on. Essentials is shunning celebrities, models and airbrushing.
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Ireland’s top telly guide recommends the following viewing tonight
Ben Stiller in Heartbreak Kid on RTE1 at 9.35pm
Scéal an airgid on TG4 at 9.30 pm is all about how Ireland’s economic recovery is coming along and what can be done to speed it up.
Alex Higgins - The People’s Champion on BBC2 at 9pm.
Pick of the day - Waterloo Road on BBC1 at 8pm.
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Now you’re up to date on all the important news.. Get back to work now.
1 year ago
Dry erase board girl saga continues… Hidden message on image said it was fake…
Play around with the hue/saturation levels on the last photo of TheChive.com infamous job quit spoof and you’ll see they left a message…. Very clever boys indeed… It’s hard to see but it’s at the top left of the image.
This one goes out to all you academics. Illustrated guide to a Ph.D.
Imagine a circle that contains all of human knowledge:
By the time you finish elementary school, you know a little:
By the time you finish high school, you know a bit more:
With a bachelor’s degree, you gain a specialty:
A master’s degree deepens that specialty:
Reading research papers takes you to the edge of human knowledge:
Once you’re at the boundary, you focus:
You push at the boundary for a few years:
Until one day, the boundary gives way:
And, that dent you’ve made is called a Ph.D.:
Of course, the world looks different to you now:
So, don’t forget the bigger picture:
Keep pushing.
Related posts
via matt.might.netHahaha, good thing to keep in mind!
1 year ago
Help… I don’t think my wife loves me anymore….
I mean she can be very good to me like every evening when i come home she has dinner ready and she irons me a fresh shirt every morning. Yesterday she had all the lawns cut, the dog walked and breakfast in bed this morning was delicious… It’s just that, at night, just when I’m drifting off to sleep, she leans into my ear….and says “Die you bastard die”
1 year ago
Irish iPad users… Think your data plan is costing too much?
Well think again… Ireland doesn’t fare too badly in this worldwide league table of monthly data charges for iPad use.
1 year ago
Working man’s rainbow
Liberty Hall, Dublin, Ireland.
21st July 2010.
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