Consumer’s Association chief Dermot Jewell was FUMING. He cited the recession as a reason why the shop for those with more money than sense shouldn’t be putting shoppers under pressure. “it’s unfair to show off snazzy games to kids when so many folks are feeling the pinch.” 

He’s right though - it is too early but it’s been like this for years. C’est la vie. Doesn’t stop The Sun calling for Boycott though.

——————————————-

“What a tool. Mechanic De Tseng, 43, was let off with a warning over stripping naked and swinging a spanner at locals after getting fired in Kuming, China.”

——————————————-

The Sea Life Centre in Bray is getting an ocean “SEX-pert” to answer everything kids need to know about the “birds and the SEAS”

Cathy Maguire will go on duty from Monday, September 6.

Underneath a photo montage of various crabs is a question: Why do they all look cranky? Answer: It’s just a bad case of crabs. 

Cathy reveals the answers to some marine life “nookie” questions.

Why would a crab sit on another crab? When a boy crab likes a girl crab, he carries her underneath him to cuddle her.

Altogether now . AWWWWWWWWWW!

——————————————-

Jedward Grandad RIP.

——————————————-

Demi Moore Twitpic on Page 7. 47 and Tweeting herself in Bikini. Grow up woman ffs.

——————————————-

County Cork OAP is still in darkness after he paid the ESB €5k in 2008 to get connected to the grid. He cuts a lonely figure sitting outside his remote farmhouse. The 68 year old said “It would be nice to be able to watch a bit of television in my retirement.” 

——————————————-

Totally Xpose have some amazing tips for those attending Electric Picnic.

1. Get fluffy socks in Penneys

2. Buy wellies

3. Plait your hair

4. Bring comfy jeans

5. Buy some white, black and nude vest tops. €3 in Penneys. (they’re on the payroll there it would seem)

6. Drink loads of water

7. Bring smelling salts

8. Bring rain mac, baby wipes, face wipes, sunglasses, trilby hat, warm hoodie

9. Don’t wear short skirts and fake tan or high heels

10. Get fake eyelashes

11. Check out what a list of unkown (to me) celebrities wear to festivals and copy them

12. Get some sleep

13. Brush your teeth before bed

14. Chill out

15. Pray for good weather

16. Penneys Penneys Penneys Penneys - go there now and but shit.

——————————————-

A book just fell on my head. I’ve only got myshelf to blame.

I was eating my tea last night when I suddenly thought to myself, “This milk must be seriously out of date.”

——————————————-

Lorraine Keane doesn’t know why TV3 boss Ben Frow was so mean to her. “He has been with the station less than two years. I was with TV3 for 11 years.” It’s like something you’d hear in the school playground.

——————————————-

“House about it? A €1 bungalow”. A man in Galway is willing to consider any offer over €1 for a house in Galway. He’s been two years trying to sell the bungalow and just wants shut of it. He’s never heard of social media. It’d be gone by noon if he put it on Facebook.

——————————————-

Lost count of how many breast photographs in the paper. A lot though.